tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post9165909215428307296..comments2023-05-20T08:49:51.904-05:00Comments on Rainbows and Pony Rides: Everything's Been Great: . . . and that's bad.LGAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03631019001084319694noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post-30676073681299754482011-03-29T16:51:07.046-05:002011-03-29T16:51:07.046-05:00I have faith in you. If it's possible, it sou...I have faith in you. If it's possible, it sounds like you are beginning to be in control of being out of control. This is a much better place than a few bipolar people I've known. One even refuses to admit that she's bipolar, so I guess acceptance is the first step to giving this condition (I don't like to call it illness) the what-for. *hugs*Rexienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post-86571553851796521672011-03-29T09:40:43.332-05:002011-03-29T09:40:43.332-05:00Thank you everyone for your support and friendship...Thank you everyone for your support and friendship. A special thanks to my fellow classmates who understand just how stressful this shit is.<br /><br />Stress. What a trigger.<br /><br />And a fucking puppy? Was that the result or the trigger... I am starting to think more clearly now, and I really want to start charting my moods so I can figure this shit out.<br /><br />Natalie... I'm just going to go ahead and email you... but no, I'm not pissed. Thank you for your very thoughtful reply. A lot of it makes sense.LGAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03631019001084319694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post-24276868298715970802011-03-29T06:57:47.851-05:002011-03-29T06:57:47.851-05:00I freakin' love you!! :) Enjoy your spring ...I freakin' love you!! :) Enjoy your spring 'break' hahahahaa....I have to admit I was quite shocked to see that you had switched up your specialty, but good for you if that's what ya want!! You'll be great, no matter.BabyCatcher2bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13807326493238987805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post-87387795194060642942011-03-28T17:14:03.134-05:002011-03-28T17:14:03.134-05:00Hey there - I so feel you on this...the good parts...Hey there - I so feel you on this...the good parts of mania, right along with the feeling confused, painfully sensitive, feeling like you could crawl out of your own skin, etc. And I know it can continue into a violent spiral up or down...neither of which are the least bit fun or safe. So sorry you're on the edge right now.<br /><br />That said, I'm about to say a few things that tend to really piss off my fellow bipolars - but I know when I was manic, I would listen to just about any whacked out idea...so here goes nothing. :)<br /><br />I am starting to realize some really eye opening things about this bipolar journey (at least my particular version of the journey!): <br />1) Mental illness is not illness, it is a very human response to perceived danger/stressors/triggers/emotional crisis, etc.<br />2) These responses are born from the neurological conditioning of childhood trauma/experiences, etc. (in other words, our brains respond to stress differently than "normal" brains).<br />3) "Mental illness" is not caused by chemical imbalances in the brain (this is not my own realization, this has been proven in countless peer reviewed studies); countless studies have been unable to pinpoint any physical cause.<br />4) Mental health crises are wake up calls for us to heal the damage done to us as children, to change the path we are on, etc. (the message varies, and it's never just about us as individuals, but also about our families, society, etc.)<br />5) What society tells us is an illness is actually a sensitivity - our psyches are more sensitive than your average Jane, and we cannot simply buckle down and pretend things are okay when they're not. We are too in tune with ourselves and our environment - therefore, we will continue to experience extreme imbalance (manifested as bipolar episodes, psychosis, schizophrenia, etc.) until we heal the root of the problem.<br />6) Many cultures view what we have as a gift rather than an illness, and perception is everything.<br />7) Meds do not heal anything - they simply perturb normal neurological function, and over time cause increased psychosis, rapid cycling, organ damage, cognitive decline, etc. Which is why they can be useful for very short-term crisis use, but should never be used long-term.<br />8) My "episodes" were never the real problem, but rather my harsh judgment of myself and my reactions to my "off" thoughts, feelings, etc., which actually caused me to go off the deep end and into dangerous territory (both in mania and depression).<br /><br />All that to say - finding ways to ground myself, heal the traumas, support my body, mind, and soul in finding stability, etc. are proving invaluable to me. It's been a hell of a painful journey, but now I'm not only getting back to being me, I'm getting back to the real me...one I haven't known since I was a child. What started out as a crisis has turned into an awakening. And sure enough, my "symptoms" are slowly but surely subsiding.<br /><br />My thoughts are with you - you know I'm always an email away if you need an understanding ear (or more info than you could ever really want). :) <br /><br />Take care of you and be as mindful as you can in these weeks to come.Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04773187914462373018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post-91344903242305094162011-03-27T22:36:07.988-05:002011-03-27T22:36:07.988-05:00New here, but have a lot in common with you: nurs...New here, but have a lot in common with you: nurse, student, bipolar, lesbian mom. Damn, but don't you love the manias? I've been controlled very, very well since 2005 but I do miss those highs. I could accomplish and destroy so much at the same time. Didn't care so much for the inevitable crash that was sure to follow but I did love the buzz. I miss it now, but I don't miss all the destruction I caused my family. Hope you come down to a reasonable level before you do to much harm to yourself or others. But enjoy the productivity of it while it lasts; I wish I could get so much done now that I'm on meds.AztecBluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12063232440767991260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post-90004416195109200462011-03-27T21:50:43.473-05:002011-03-27T21:50:43.473-05:00Hey bloggy friend, I was juuuust thinkin' '...Hey bloggy friend, I was juuuust thinkin' 'bout you and wondering how things were going.<br /><br />My friends who cycle back and forth like this describe the process as a bit stressful, but may I say I like the sense of humor (hilarious story?) with which you are tackling it.<br /><br />This may be optimistic, since I know folks who really struggle with the crash part of this cycling thing, but I suspect that if you can maintain your sense of detachment and humor about the crash, that you'll remain as level as you want to be, while allowing yourself needed rest.<br /><br />I'm sure S does love you more than ever. You made me smile.MakingSpacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09512337949478137031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1459911681566627296.post-46875703880702999882011-03-27T21:07:08.129-05:002011-03-27T21:07:08.129-05:00oh elle! you're wonderful, up-down-and-sidewa...oh elle! you're wonderful, up-down-and-sideways. i know that feeling, though, that everything is just about to crash down... and if nothing else, at least you've gotten to the point where you recognize that it's coming (and that you are cycling). or maybe that's not so good --- kind of kills the fun. <br /><br />still LMAO at the "spring break" thing, too....hebamme ~https://www.blogger.com/profile/08708270634154916532noreply@blogger.com