Sunday, August 22, 2010

2 Moms, 4 Kids, Unplanned Trip to the Mall, Shoe Shopping (sounds fun right?)

S's phone is damaged, and she's getting a new one sent to her in the mail.  In two weeks.  WTF?  Are they delivering it on ponies?  Anyway, until then the company was kind enough to offer her a "loaner phone."   However, I live in the middle of fucking nowhere it seems and the nearest retailer for her phone company is about 45 miles away.

Road trip!

S and I packed up the kids yesterday for an impromptu, Saturday afternoon road trip to the mall.  45 miles away.  You would think an hour drive in the car wouldn't be that big of a deal ....

Five minutes into the "road trip" I had to stop for food.  Not lying.  Subway sandwiches and drinks.  All I could think about was what was happening with the Baby and her carseat while she was being left unattended with her "small" 22oz sprite.

Road trip, continues!

OH OH OH... let me mention... I had worked the night before and only had like 4 hours of sleep.  (I just want you to have the whole picture.)

We finally arrive at the mall and the kidlets are mesmerized ... you will never guess... by the escalators.  Right away the Boy wants to ride the escalators.  I have to promise him after S gets her new phone we can have one ride.

While waiting outside the cell phone kiosk for S to settle up this loaner phone deal... something comes over me.  Something stronger than me.  Something outside of my control.  I can hear myself talking and I can't stop the words, "Would you guys like to buy new school shoes while we are here?" 

(What have I done? < Internal voice shrieking< ) 

The Boy is elated at this idea.  M said she definitely NEEDS new shoes; however she is in this phase where she needs anything that anyone else is getting.  Lately she needs chiropractic care, eye glasses, and just yesterday she asked about tampons.  L said she's all set on shoes, but would like some outfits.  OF course she does.

S finishes with the kiosk.  I tell her the shoe plan.  She's in.  She's pretty easy.  She just wants to play with her new phone anyway.  She's barely watching where she's walking.  See, if she had been paying attention maybe she could have snapped me back to reality.  But no, onward, to the shoe department we go trotting.

But first...

Baby has her hand down her pants again.  Have I ever mentioned that we are potty learning?  She's doing so well!  If you don't mind spending most of your day in the bathroom with her, or telling her to get her hand out of her panties, or watching her change her panties, or helping her wash her hands a 100 times, or hearing about how she has to poop all day long but we don't have any diapers... really... it's going really really well!!

First we all stop at the toilets and everyone does their business EXCEPT the BABY.  Figures.

Shoe shopping.  Where do I even begin to describe what that was like?  It wasn't really that bad, I guess.  It seemed as though at one point I was sitting on the ground in the department store surrounded by piles of shoes in boxes with four kids, none of whom had on any shoes... no the Baby had on display shoes that were four times too big for her.  I literally layed down and asked S if we were on Candid Camera.

All in all, the Boy and M came away with new shoes and were happy.  I told L that her outfit would have to wait.  I just didn't have it in me. 

But let us not forget... the escalator ride.  We had to go up, then down.  Good god.  What must people think when they see us?

As we were leaving I was doing my little "head count" thing I occasionally do.  Moms with lots-o-kids do this.  We can't help it.  Suddenly I realized, WE ARE SHORT ONE!  Who's missing?! 

The Baby was over by the escalator still with her little chubby finger resting ever so gingerly on the Emergency Stop button.  Ah Jesus.

So on the ride home things were fairly quiet.  Except S and I kept hearing Baby squawking about something in the her seat.  Finally I decided I needed clarification, "Baby are you saying Poo Poo or Boo Boo?"

pleasesaybooboopleasesaybooboo.... There is SUCH a difference in boo boo and poo poo, ya know?  I really didn't want to deal with the poo poo smell all the way home. 

She had a terrible little boo boo that needed some attention.  THANK MOTHER CHRIST.  It was just a mosquito bite she scratched open.  Phew.  Dodged that bullet.


Becca said...

C has learned not to go anywhere near the mall when all of our kiddos are with us. If WE need something from the mall we go alone, which is hardly ever an option. The last time she was at the mall with me was for her birthday. The last time all 6 of us were at the mall was probably 3 1/2 years ago. I'm amazed your expedition went that well!! :)

Elle said...

Thanks Becca. I'm still recovering today.

I woke up this afternoon (another midnight shift last night) and S has taken them... hiking.

Maybe I'll let HER blog about that experience.

Rexie said...

I can totally see how poo poo and boo boo could sound the same. haha Glad you that dirty doo doo bullet missed ya though *snort*