Freckles texted me last night... "Do you like my homecoming dress?" Attached was a photo of herself in a formal.
This is not how I thought this would go down. My first daughter, her first "formal" dance, maybe her first boyfriend. I guess... I just had different expectations.
I don't know where she got the dress or how much it cost. I do not know the boy's name, or age, or grade... or... anything. I don't know where they are going for dinner. I don't know what shoes she will be wearing or what kind of flowers she wants. I don't know if she is going to wear her hair up or down. I don't know if she is going to wear a necklace... earrings... or go with the classic, clean "less is more" attitude.
I guess this is one of the many moments I have to anticipate in which I will have to let go of my expectations regarding our mother-daughter relationship. This is a lesson in creating new expectations.
When the Other Mothers are discussing homecoming and their daughters' dresses, dates, and flowers... I will simply remain quiet with my heart aching silently. When I see their pretty pictures on Facebook I will *like* them and then try to remind myself that in the end, I will have a real, authentic relationship with my daughter one day. We will be two women who mutually respect and love each other, with different mother-daughter expectations than our peers have or than the generations of women before us had. We may not be able to share many memories from this time of our lives... but one day... our hearts will be open and full and rich.
Until then I ache for her to come home.