Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Good Question.

In another blog I read, Feministe, a writer asks the question, "What would your 15 year old self say to your current self?"  The writer links back to a recent New York Times interview with Katy Perry where she was asked "What would her 15-year-old-self, the one whose teenage dream it was to be a gospel star, think of her life now?"

You can read the blog and the interview if you'd like. 

I think we should consider the question ourselves.   

What would 15 year old me say to 31 year old me?

I think she would be really surprised that I am not a writer, maybe disappointed.  I  think she would be completely shocked that I am a nurse and almost a nurse-midwife.  (I always hated biology and science.)  She would be amazed that I have 5 kids because at 15, I wasn't sure I wanted any.  I was going to be single forever and move away and live a fantastic life as a journalist.  Hey -  I was 15.

She would ask me, "Don't you miss Theresa?"  Fuck yes.  I do. 

She would laugh, "So you married him?"  Yes.  I did.

She would ask if I still knew her.  I don't.

She would say in disbelief more than ask the question, "You forgave?"  I have.  I would assure her... you will.

I would spend some time telling her about S and the life I hope have with her.  I don't know what the 15 year old me would say to me about being gay.  At 15 I knew, but still didn't want to be.  I think I can say that if the 31 year old me, visited and told me what my future held - things might have been different. 

But this isn't the time time for the 31 year old me to give sage wisdom to the 15 year old me.  No no... this blog is supposed to be about the little 15 year old girl, seeing herself in the future, and what that might mean to her.

I admit, there is much I want to tell the 15 year old me. 

1 comment:

Starla said...

I'm surprised no one commented on this. I'd call it one of your best entries and something we can all relate to. I especially like your candid "self-talk." lol Sorry, it's difficult for me to make sense of a comment but this entry meant a lot to read. Very well done, Elle!