Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Holy Grail of Homophobes

My ex husband would rather have one of the Other Mothers that lives down the street from him (who runs a home daycare business) have our daughter 3 times a week rather than "let" me have her.  This particular Other Mother is like the holy grail of homophobes (yes we have some history).

I'm having a super night.  Rad.  Awesome.

On an upper note... I'm still maintaining a few pretty good friendship with some of the Other Mothers and while I am starting to admit to myself that I have trust issues... it does feel good to know that I do still have friends.

I decided to write the daycare lady (the aforementioned homophobe) a letter after I learned that she was "judging" me for not having my youngest daughter during the weekdays while her older siblings are all in school.
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November 10, 2010


Dear Mrs. "Smith",

I am writing you because I know you are pouring her juice.  I know you are putting her on the potty.  I know you are sitting with her at lunch time and listening to her adorable little jabber.  I am writing you because I know you are the one reading to her until her eyelids get too heavy for her to hold open any longer.

It is you and not me that gets to spend the weekdays with her.

At the end of the week, her father writes you a check.  Even though I have asked, I have offered, and I have even begged him to “let” me have my own daughter on the days he has to work.  He still wants to pay you to do what a mother does, quite naturally, for free.

I am writing you so that you know, so that you are CLEAR about this, Mrs. "Smith".  I do not want her in your care.  He does.  I want to have her.

Respectfully,

Elle

9 comments:

Elle said...

Sorry for the typos... I'm having a fucking SHITTY night.

Lisa said...

I'm angry with you on this. Hopefully it gets better...soon. (hugs)

Almost 40 said...

Word homegirl. That sucks on SOOO many levels. Can you pursue any legal action?

Thinking of you and hoping it gets better.

xo

Lovesbeingamomma said...

I find it simply amazing that anyone wouldn't want to be friends with you...

Elle said...

A word on "legal action"...

well... ok... I have JUST NOW... decided to make it a new blogpost. It's too long for a comment. xoxo Don't you just love my randomness. It's almost like I don't know how to use the backspace key.

And to Lovesbeingamomma: thanks... a lot. I'm not always a good friend. But I'm trying really hard to be a good person.

Lisa said...

Ell- you ARE a GOOD person! Don't ever doubt that. No one is perfect and we all have our weak spots. And you are a good friend to people!

A. said...

OMG. that pisses me off.

good for you on the letter

I'd go clean her clock....

Asya said...

You are not only a good person but also a good friend. I have told you before that I believe that your kids will learn so much from you by your courageous decision to be your true self. THey will learn to be themselves and be proud of who they truly are. I could go on and on about all the lessons they can learn from all of this, but I won't. It makes me sad and pissed for you that when you are so available for your child, HE won't let you be momma for those hours and days in her life...keep trucking along your persistence will pay off and hopefully HE will let go and be able to do what is right for your kids.
Love you~

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