Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Glorious Birds

Tomorrow, on the 27th day of January, 2011, my daughter... Motherless... will turn 14 years old.

I wanted to take her out for dinner tomorrow, to commemorate the day with her.  She said she couldn't because her father wanted to make her dinner.  I can't help myself.  I'm disappointed.

We are having a date tonight, though.  It's just that I am a sentimental weirdo when it comes to anniversaries... dates... numbers... etc.  Truth be told, I'd like to have breakfast with her, so that way, at 7:43am, the EXACT hour she was born into my arms... I can look into her hazel-green-sometimes-brown-eyes and smile with amazement, then tell her... "I'm proud of you."

That's not going to happen. 

I will think of her, and I will text her at 7:43am.

But I don't know when, after tonight, I'll get to see those beautiful eyes.  Or her soft freckles.  Or that ever changing bright smile.  I don't know when she will let me back in.  

Because I am a stickler for dates... I will write her Birthday Tribute tomorrow.  

Tonight we will have dinner and I will give her the gifts that I spent a lot of thought in picking out.  One is a book that I read when I was around her age that meant a lot to me.  I wish I still had my original copy, I'd give her that... Anyway, she liked Go Ask Alice, when I bought that for her, so I am going to try it again.  This time I am gifting her:  Jonathan Livingston Seagull.  It's a beautiful book.  She's currently very interested in birds as her newest pet is a parakeet.  

The second gift is a DVD copy of Harold and Maude.  I know she loves this cult classic.  (One of) my favorite scenes is with the seagulls... the "glorious birds"... Anyway... I spent a lot of thought figuring out what to do this year.  I didn't want to just go the iTunes gift card route.

I'm putting her gifts in a reusable gift bag that I got from one of my very sweetest friends, Cat.  It has van Gogh's Starry Night on it.  Which happens to be one of her favorite paintings... or at least it used to be.

So, it really feels like a date. 

I'm nervous.
I need to shower.
I'm going to shave.
I'm hoping for a kiss.

9 comments:

I'm Jane said...

Good luck! Sending positive karma your way...

Becca said...

I hope you have a wonderful evening with your girl!! Know that we are thinking of you, some of us know precisely how this feels!!

Natalie said...

Your posts about your kids are so touching...I hope it goes well, and fingers crossed for that kiss! :) (By the way, just the fact that she loves Harold and Maude and Van Gogh show what a clearly awesome kid she is...and she'll eventually grow to realize what an awesome mom she has.)

A. said...

I hope it was a nice evening for you both
*positive thoughts*

RadDyke said...

Peace to you, El. She is lucky to have you in her life. One day, you will have more, I think.

Asya said...

She is lucky to have you! I hope your date was the best ever. It is so hard to believe they become young men and women so fast. She is awesome because she has learned from you.

Elle said...

It was an amazing night.

After our date, she came over and sat and talked with S and I for a while before I had to go to work. We shared funny and embarrassing stories. I miss that. We always could laugh.

She shared about her friends, her school social life, etc.

S said that when it comes to Motherless... I get really funny... like all "smitten like" and nervous around her. Like I am in love... and well, it's true.

It's so weird.

It was the best night ever.

She loved the movie. LOVED. And when she opened the book, and read my inscription to her, she kept her head down, with her hair in her face for a long time... because I think she was teary.

At 12:25 am she texted me: thank you for everything.

She thanked me.

No, Motherless, thank you baby. Thank you.

Natalie said...

So beautiful! I can't even imagine how much that little text must have made your heart sing. So, so happy for you! You are both incredibly lucky to have each other. (and now I'm all teary too)

Elle said...

@ Rad... Thanks dear. You are very kind. S and I have been reading your comment over... and we have to ask. Do you mean we will have more of her or more kids? Because... we sorta made a deal... no more kids... we're just going to stick with a house plant or like a pet.