Friday, June 24, 2011

In Case I Don't Make It Out Alive...

Soon I am going to Target with one of the very FEW women I would ever trust enough to do this with.  She is kind of private in things of the *world wide web* so I don't know how to refer to her to protect this privacy.  She has been a loving and constant friend for a few years now, and I trust her with my panic.  She is one of the few people I can risk "let" seeing me, the real me, breakdown... and not feel shame or embarrassed.

I need a swimsuit.

Not want.  Need.

I am a different size than I was last year, and the year before - and well, we are leaving in 2 days to take our brood of kidlets to California.

I think this has been the source of my anxiety and subsequent insomnia over the last few days.  So... here I go.  Off to get a swimsuit.  Regardless of my size or its size.  Because I refuse to let my fucked up body image ruin or steal a moment of my time with my kids on this first, amazing family vacation that S and I are taking them on.

Or at least that's the plan.

So as my Middle, S's "twin-separated-by-32years" would say:  Let's do this thing.


Asya said...

You did great! You didn't "need" me, but I was glad to be there for you. Blessed to be your friend~

MakingSpace said...

Sounds like it went well - have a great family vacation!!