Today I feel like a girl trapped inside a snow globe. You know the ones with little villages inside, and glitter for snow, that when tipped over creates the most magical scene right before your eyes. Sometimes there is a wind up music element in the bottom of the globe.
I'm in my snow globe, my bubble world, today; and I feel so completely trapped here. I feel like I can't leave. But I know logically that the doors open. These keys fit right into the ignition of my van. I know the way into town. I even have errands to run that I have been putting off. My dog needs a walk. My guinea pigs need litter. My paycheck needs depositing.
My bubble world is sealed tight.
Sure I can look at this whole living in a snow globe deal as if I am trapped here, or... there is another way to see this. I am safe. Here I don't have to talk to anyone and pretend. I don't have to get dressed and worry. I don't have to smile and fake. If they only knew how hard it is...
But my bubble world is transparent.
They still look in. They see me even when I think no one is looking.
When I was a little girl I used to sit and stare at my gramma's snow globes for hours. I wanted to reach in - to crawl inside one of them. Just to inside for a minute, a day. I thought it seemed so quiet inside that bubble world. So peaceful. So safe.
Today, I'm nothing but a little girl again, who got her wish. Living in a bubble.