Last evening after I wrote in my blog I called the children again and asked my second oldest, M, if she wanted to come to the new house with me to see it and pick out bedrooms and such.
When I got there to pick her up, of course L wanted to come. She can't "miss out" on a thing. Then when The Boy heard that his sisters were going somewhere he just HAD to come. (The van was really filling up.) So I decided to be brave and ask Motherless if she wanted to come too. She said "Maybe." OMG... she spoke to me. And it wasn't nastiness. She said, "Ask dad." Of course he said yes.
She just kept bouncing her basket ball. Over and over. And shooting. Bounce. Shoot. Bounce. Shoot. I would catch her shot and bounce it back to her. We did this wordless, silent, weird "dance" for what felt like EVER... 4 minutes tops... and then I said, "Are you coming?" She said, "no."
Ugh. I decided to beg.
She said fine.
I felt like I was on a "first date." I was all nervous about saying the wrong thing. I didn't want to look at her too much. I was worried I smelled bad. I was worried I had bad breath. I wished I had more money so I could take her out for ice cream. I ... I ... I...
She looked around the house silently. Then the other kids started arguing over who was going to have which room. I asked Motherless if she wanted to have a room at my new house. She shook her head no. I fought back tears.
Never ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to. NEVER.
So I said, "Well, I still have your bed. I am going to put it in M's room. Just in case..."
Basically she didn't look at me or speak to me the entire time. But she came to my new house.
So, just like ending an awkward first date, I wanted to kiss her goodbye... but chickened out.