Saturday, June 19, 2010

Breaking Up for Dummies

Where is that book?  I am sure with all the Dummy books out there, one exists.  And specifically... "How to Break Up with Someone You've Really Only Had Two Dates With... But You Went Around The Block With Her... For Dummies"  Fuck.  Where in fuck's sake is that book?  Or blog? 

So... I am trying to have this very important talk with T, about how we are just incompatible in a dating sense right now... and perhaps we should just try to be friends for a while, then see how that goes.  (Uhhh, give me a break.  I've never done this before.)  And she tells me she has to say something to me or she will regret it, and she expels out, "I love you."  WTF am I supposed to do with that?  Remember way back, the awkward silence *I* experienced after asking for a kiss...?  Yeah... most definetly awkward.  Things not to say:

That's nice.
Thank you.
You shouldn't.
So soon?

The list could go on... I think she meant that she's starting to fall in love with me... or that she wants to... or that she could allow herself to.  But she can't be in love with me.  Really.  This chick and I are so completely incompatible.  We cannot even have a conversation about anything.  It feels like an interview.  I ask her questions and she answers.  So this "conversation" got off to a real fucking great start.

I asked her, "Why do you love me?"  which I ask often.  I find the responses so... interesting... so telling.  You know?  Well her responses were more of non-responses, if you ask me.  They were not really reasons.  And that's because she doesn't really love me.  Not in the way she thinks she does. 

Why am I even blogging about this?  Does anyone even give a fuck?

My favorite responses to the question are the ones that have to do with A) my body, B) how I fuck, or C) how "good" I make them feel.  **Giant dramatic sigh**  Those are not the correct answers, FYI.  (Those weren't really her answers either... so strange and awkward.)

So yeah... here I sit.  With this card she left me that has a handwritten note that I absolutely cannot read.  I mean I cannot read it.  The words are illegible.  And I laugh at the irony.  What does it say?  Does it hold all the secret emotions and feelings about our Two Date Relationship that she wants to impart on me before the final band aid is ripped off?  It is a perfect symbol of what it is like between us.  Illegible writing... which leads to poor communication... or a lack of communication... I guess.


Rexie said...

I care. Writing is a good way to help yourself figure things out. You're good at it, so I hope you continue to do it. This situation is the uncomfortable part of dating that everyone wishes they didn't have to go through, but most everyone does.

Anonymous said...

I care too.

I like to ask why as well. I have heard the "you make me feel good" thing WAY too many times to count. Isn't loving someone about THEM and not about YOU? Why don't people get this?