Thursday, June 17, 2010

I'm ALIVE!

It's been a while gang.  Sorry about that...  I've been busy!  That's a good thing.

So I met the other girl I blogged about, S, and I've been smiling ever since.  No really.  I can't stop smiling.  It's really not even because of things she says or does, or that, "Hey now this really cool chic is hanging out with me."  No, it's just that I'm feeling more positive lately.  I just have a different perspective.

Uhm.  I hate that I'm about to do this.  But I am.  So let's just begin.  When I think about how I feel when I've spent time with T, it's been so totally ... really ... completely ... fine.  Fine.  Just fine.  Not bad.  Not specatacular.  She's a very nice girl that I enjoy talking to, when I can get her to talk.  I sometimes feel afraid that she won't understand my humor and I will offend her.  That's a not so good feeling when you're a crazy ass funny as hell woman like myself.

When I spend time with S... things are totally, completely, superbly... Fine.  You know the difference.  There is fine and there is Fine.  Things with S are so easy.  I feel like we've known each other before.  In another time.  In another life.  I don't feel like we've known each other forever, because things still feel very new and exciting with her.  Something inside me stirs.  With T, it's not there.

Okay... done with that ickiness... I hate feeling like I am comparing them and for some reason that feels so wrong.

You know what else feels wrong?  When your first date lasts THREE fucking days.  But that feels wrong on a different level, on a oh so "good" to be wrong level!  So S, came into town last week and spent a few days at my place and it was just so fun and funny and relaxing and enjoyable... and there really were no awkward moments even during the "longest first date ever."  I kept waiting for it to happen.  It never did. 

We joked about how inappropriate our "first date" was.  Truth be told, I thought it was quite perfect.  All three days.  We made plans to see each other in two days.  I would drive to her. 

I did... and it was more of the same awesomeness.  I spent another three days with her, this time at her place, meeting her friends.

I think I've gotten over the part where I'm searching for the - what's wrong with this girl - answer.  Maybe nothing.  Maybe something.  Maybe something I won't really care about. 

One last thing, because honestly... I could gush on about her... her eyes are the prettiest blue I've not seen since looking into my grandfather's eyes.  They are the color of a happy sky and in the middle there is this bright yellow burst that you notice if you look closely.  They are sincerely the most interesting eyes ever.  Not just the color of them, but the way she looks at me.  The way she looks at other people when they are talking to her.  The way she looks when we are holding each other very close and being very intimate.  The way her eyes change when she is laughing.  Her eyes even laugh. 

2 comments:

JP said...

Now I'm singing Guns 'n Roses...

I'm glad you're happy. Makes me happy.

Anonymous said...

awww..
that's all.
eyes are spectacular things. I'm glad you get to look at hers. :)

~Kiya