Saturday, September 18, 2010


I think the last time I had any communications with her it had to have been 2001... almost 10 years ago... maybe.  It seems like longer.  It seems like yesterday.  Two days ago there was a "request" in my inbox on Facebook.  It wasn't a name I recognized, and for whatever reason... after two days, I accepted the request.

When I saw your face inside some of those pictures, I felt like I was looking at a ghost.

There have been times in my life that I had searched for you, using all of the resources I had at the time.  When I first filed for divorce in 2003, I wrote you a letter.  I never mailed it.  When I applied to grad school I looked for you.  When I did finally leave him... I looked again.  I might have found out little tidbits of your life via my little searches... but I didn't know.  I didn't know if you were happy.  I didn't know if you were healthy.  I wasn't sure where you worked, lived, where your favorite restaurants were... I didn't know if you were still with J.  I didn't know if you were in love and I didn't know if you were being loved back.  I didn't know if you ever wondered about me.

A picture, a song, a poem, a book... I've been haunted by your memory.

Time has not changed your smile.  I used to wonder what you look like now.  I was so young the last time I saw you.  But not so young to think we'd never age, we'd never change.
So now what?  There's so much to tell you, so much I want to know.  But for now, I've been haunted by a ghost.


Momo said...

That was gorgeous...

Can we get the backstory to this one? I'm intrugued!

Elle said...

The "back story" isn't all my story to tell...

It feels really good to reconnect with an old friend. No... wait... not old... just a friend from the past. ;)